Applied Stoicism (Or, Marky Mark Aurelius Was The Man, Man!)

In casting around for ways to cope with Lili’s heartbreaking Degenerative Myelopathy, both emotionally & practically, I recently reread the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius [written ca. 170-180 AD], which are timeless, or very timely. To quote him: “There is nothing new; all things are both familiar and short-lived.”

Inasmuch as Lili’s motto, in the face of rapidly progressing back-leg numbness, ataxia (drunken-sailor gait) & frequent collapses, seems to be: “Keep Calm & Carry On,” I would say she is more Aurelian than I am, at the moment.

For instance, she is my role model for this bit of advice: “Remember, too, on every occasion that leads thee to vexation to apply this principle:  not that this is a misfortune, but to bear it nobly is good fortune.”  I texted that one to my daughter at work, who immediately “got it,” and wrote back, “So, life is how you react.”

He’s very into noticing when humiliation gets up “thy” nose, and challenging it with Cognitive Reframing concerning Locus of Control: “But death certainly, and life, honour & dishonour, pain & pleasure, all these things equally happen to good men & bad, being things which make us neither better or worse.”  You’ve been dealt a rotten hand? Who cares if you deserved it, or if it was just random bad luck? Play the hand you’re dealt, and let the Greek chorus of kibitzers tend to their knitting (to mix a metaphor): “So much more respect have we to what our neighbor shall think of us than to what we shall think of ourselves,” observed the Philosopher King. And, yes, I agree with those who quibble, “Easy for you to say, Your Majesty. Noblesse oblige, and all that; but for us hoi-poloi, in high-density living situations, ‘one man’s ceiling is another man’s floor’ [as Rhymin’ Simon says].”

Speaking of the neighbors, we have gone out of our way [and comfort zone], to explain to ours, what’s up with Lili [not contagious, not painful, “not anyone’s fault”…unless you count her breeders, but let’s not dwell on that]. They have been, without exception, sympathetic and supportive…and grateful that their dogs have been spared Lili’s fate.

But, as Marky Mark would remind us, we’re all on Lili’s journey, even if we’re not as close to the other “shore,” as she is. Therefore, he counseled, “Thou will give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were thy last.” Be like Lili: “Keep calm & carry on.”

 

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Filed under Epictetus said..., gets right up my nose, locus of control

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